Many pastors, leaders and church goers gaze beyond the scriptures to find ideas or strategies to make disciples. Why? What seems to be celebrated or gaining the most attention by the church are those with the most innovative ideas. Over 23 years of ministry I often see the momentum of the collective church body shift to a new curriculum or model of ministry.

The radio kept breaking up – “this is not good” I’m thinking to myself. We had been discovered by a lone NVA (North Vietnamese Army) soldier, who had stepped off the trail to relieve himself. We were well camouflaged, but a brief radio crackle alerted him to our presence.

Recently, a small group leader asked, “How do I know who I am supposed to disciple?”. I happened to be in a room where there were multiple group leaders and experienced disciple makers, so I asked… “What do you guys think?” As we discussed the question, more questions arose. But a theme also to emerge.

My friend and I sat down together on my back porch. We had a situation that created some serious tension, mostly on my part. I was angry. I didn’t agree with what happened and was really struggling with it. Gratefully, both of believe in fighting for relationship and being in unity with each other.

“It’s not what we do but who we are”. This phrase has become a common cry by many of us in the Relational Discipleship Network. Wow! The last year challenged this statement in my life. Relationships and areas of my life that once were simple are now complicated. It seems with every 30 days we face new cultural and biblical challenges.

Just about every news cycle shows people on a college campus, city hall, and even at the U.S. Capitol yelling at each other. There is no curiosity to investigate the real facts; it is usually driven by emotion and a sense of self-righteousness. There is no relationship or willingness to listen to another viewpoint.

I remember the day my wife and I met with the pastor of the church we were attending. I asked for an appointment to speak with him, knowing I had this longing in my heart for “more”. More of “what” I didn’t really know. I just knew at that time, discipleship in my life was nonexistent. So, I asked him if “there was more to this walk with Jesus?” He replied, “Nope. Just keep coming to church on Sundays” while he was simultaneously checking his watch every couple of minutes, like he had something better to do.

Cultivating relationships with unchurched people is paramount in our calling to be disciples that make disciples. For my wife and me, the task of engaging relationally with unchurched people can at times seem daunting, draining, and discouraging. At these times, we often reflect on what it was like to be unchurched ourselves, and the profound impact the church has made on our eternity, current lives, and relationships. So, how does one begin engaging with the unchurched?

I love March Madness – the time of year when 64 college basketball teams get the opportunity to make a run at the NCAA title. The stories, players, and coaches that emerge are incredible. I can remember watching many of the famous matchups and incredible buzzer beaters that have...

Do you remember Michael Buffer’s iconic hype introductions for fights in the ’90s and early 2000s? I’m sure you can hear his voice right now, “Let’s get ready to RUMBLE!” His half-brother Bruce Buffer followed in his footsteps and now introduces UFC fights with, “It is TIME!”

Let me ask you, “What does it mean for a disciple of Jesus to abide in Christ?” (Go ahead and think about your answer. I’ll wait.) I’ve met followers of Jesus who’ve had a hard time answering that question. Sometimes “abiding” seems mystical to Christians, and they have a hard time quantifying it.

I had been betrayed. I do not mean this as hyperbole. If you want to be in ministry, you will have scars; The longer we are in, the more scars we will have, that is, as long as we are really in. There are those among us who figure out how to have a kind of faux ministry.

I meet with the men I disciple on Wednesday nights while my kids are involved with our Student Ministry. For several weeks a new group of men had been with me and we had been going through the gospel of Mark together. At the end of our third night together I asked

Language matters. Before discussing some practical concepts of Intentionally Branching, I’d like to briefly discuss the importance of a church being unified in the language they use in making disciples. For instance, notice the word branch.

Just as Jesus modeled for Peter, James, and John by drawing them close, inviting to his inner circle, Paul replicated with his invitation to Timothy. Similarly, we too must model for those we have apprentice in our small groups. As a disciple maker I want my apprentice to reproduce what he sees me do. So, it is extremely important that I am intentional with my invitation and modeling the fundamentals of disciple making in those relational environments.

Jesus Built a Culture Around Him Primarily Driven by Love I wonder what people's first thought is when they read the words, “driven by love”. I was curious and googled, “driven by love” and to no surprise, it was all about self. There is a lot our culture today has to say about love and being driven by love but to create a loving environment for the sake of relational discipleship, there is only one resource you need - God’s Word! It’s Jesus' method and model.

Wednesdays are my favorite night of the week. I host and lead a small group of ladies on Wednesdays each week, and it completely fills me up every single time. We eat dinner, catch up, dive deep into the Word, and discuss what God has put on our hearts. It is a space to gather and spiritually, relationally, and emotionally grow. It’s beautiful to be a part of a group that loves each other well by praying and doing life together. With only an hour and a half, we make the most of our time. It can be challenging to

I've been riding motorcycles since I was five years old. The first rule I learned was to always keep your motorcycle between the lines, but one of the most important rules I learned was to always look out ahead of you instead what’s right in front of you. This rule becomes more important as you go into a big curve.

I want you to think about the five most impactful sermons you have heard. What were they? Go head; I will give you about 3 minutes…. Now …. Tell me about the five people who have most shaped who you are today? What was their impact on your life? (This can be either positive or challenging impact or both.) I am betting you had an easier time

EGR. Extra. Grace. Required. At one time or another we have all had that person in our small group. At one time or another we have all been that person in our small group. You know, that person in which extra grace is required in order to walk along the path of relationship with them and to point them to the way of Jesus. Grace is often defined as...

Some good friends just left our small group. And they aren’t coming back. It’s been a little over six months since we invited them. Over that time we have had them in our home, barbecued together, and vacationed together. We celebrated together and walked through difficult situations together. So what happened?

I remember vividly the absolute silence surrounded me. Sitting on a log, I contemplated the walk through the snow back to my truck. I had spent the morning deer hunting and found myself less interested in the hunt and more wanting to hear from God. So, I took a break and found the closest thing that would serve as a good chair.

Seasons of transition and change are never easy, and this season began with my wife and I feeling released from our old church: the church where we thought we’d grow old. We were both on staff at that church, and we had been dreaming of a much more intentionally relational approach to ministry. We had been a part of so many churches growing up, and most of them felt similar: members attend until they hopefully begin to serve on the weekend or...

Netflix, dinner alone, sleep, repeat. That’s how every evening went for me back in 2017. And I thought I wanted it that way. A few months before, I had decided to walk away from a staff position at my church to take a job in sales. I moved 40 minutes down the road, leaving my church and community behind. After being gently and rightly reprimanded...

You know what they say about how to have a healthy body, focus on diet and exercise. What about having a healthy small group? Suppose you have read any of the other blogs on the RDN website. In that case, you are aware of how vital intentional, authentic relationships are to the small group’s health.

“I’m not good enough.”...I don’t know why this thought established residence in my mind, but it did. Being “good enough” lives at the top of my list in the battle to obey and grow as greatest hurdle a disciple of Jesus. However, this phrase has been a powerful teacher, showing me the faithfulness of our God.

I hate to admit this, but I am not a person that naturally seeks out time with people. I love people. I really do! But the truth is, I am content by myself. So when I see that a third of the formula for relational discipleship is “creating a relational environment”, I sometimes feel like I am starting from behind.

When I first joined the RDN (Relational Discipleship Network), one of the ways we had to shift our church was not in overall structure to our life groups, but in overall philosophy. We were already a church utilizing groups to teach and help ...

If you want to understand your community, and what the needs are, spend a lot of time out there. Every place you go and every person you talk to outside the walls of your church can be a God ordained moment if you choose to be intentional and ...

A Disciple…Someone who is following Jesus, being changed by Jesus, and ON MISSION with Jesus. What an opportunity we have to know and do the Will of God. Being on mission and sharing the Gospel as an individual is essential to our walk with ...

A few months ago, our church hosted a community outreach event which provides shoes and socks to children in our community. Our planned strategy for this event involved one volunteer team connecting with children for sizing and selecting new ...

My friends know that I am a “get er’ done” kind of guy. (I’ll be transparent… even those who don’t know me well pick up on that pretty quick.) A fast paced, task focused, checklist kind of guy. This quality can be helpful in some areas, ...

“Something isn’t right here. It seems like the things we measure don’t produce what we say we are chasing.” This thought just wouldn’t go away. I was sitting in a service at my church and listening to a report that served as sort of a “state of ...

I was trimming a jungle of tomato vines on a beautiful summer day when I found myself thinking about the parable of the lost son in Luke 15. As I pulled vines, searching for fruit, my thoughts drifted to the father in that story. I began to ...

I grew up in the church. I love the church! It’s one of the reasons I’m a Pastor today. However, the word “discipleship” in the context I grew up in was primarily about a transfer of information. Don’t get me wrong, I feel like I benefitted ...

It is Sunday morning! All over the city families are sleeping in before preparing for the 11:00am service. Breakfast smells great, attitudes are pleasant and church clothes are laid out. They shoot for a 10:45 arrival hoping to secure their ...

What is in the power of an invitation? One might think a simple invitation is not really a big deal but let us dig deeper into what an invitation has the power to be. When I was a young kid growing up in a small town, I was invited to try ...

Have you ever stopped and thought about how many different “hats” you wear?Me personally, I think I wear enough hats to take up a whole walk-in closet! Wife, mom of three, personal chef and chauffeur, referee, professional maid, small group ...

When I was asked to write this blog, we had just come off the heels of a church wide training weekend led by our small groups team. This story may seem like an insignificant problem in the whole grand scheme of things, but it is a perfect ...

John and I had met at church and began spending time together. Through time and proximity, we began to build the foundation of a lasting relationship. We had planned to meet up for lunch one day and everything was going as usual. Our ...

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe…not quite sure how this will go. Oh well, I guess I’ll try fishing here today. I had never fished this pond before and wasn’t even sure if there were fish here, oh well, here goes nothing. I began fishing and with every ...

I’ve never been much of a people person. I have always described myself as a loner girl, an introvert, socially awkward, the quiet type, the person that turns the complete opposite way when I see someone walking toward me to avoid any human ...

My mind wandered. We sat stuck, horns blaring around us as traffic ground to halt. I wiped sweat from my brow and the diesel fumes were beginning to make my eyes burn. This was not the first time I had experienced this since it was my 16th trip ...

Over the past few weeks, I have been struggling with a question to myself, “What is my legacy?” I am a Christian, a disciple maker and try to live my life in that fashion every day. I grew up in the church of my Baptist minister father but ...

What do you cheer for? Sports teams? Your child getting good grades in school? What about your church? What do you celebrate? I’ve celebrated numbers of attenders on any given weekend. I’ve cheered when we baptize people in our services. I’ve ...

In his book, The Never Alone Church, David Ferguson states, “When we fulfill the church’s mission to make disciples within the context of sincere love for God and for others, ministry is relevant.” He goes on to say, “For example, Paul harshly ...

When we think of conflict for many negative thoughts or emotions arise. Followers of Jesus Christ are called to respond differently than the world, which can seem totally foreign to those around us. Conflict provides incredible opportunity to ...

I have heard people say that the way you spell LOVE is T-I-M-E. Regardless of where anyone falls on the economic spectrum, we can all agree that time is a commodity. Whereas money seems to be the currency for which we strive in our day-to-day ...

“I was afraid to meet with you because I still had so many struggles and didn’t even know where to find things in my Bible,” Steve said as the waitress cleared the table. “But, as we spent time together, you shared your own struggles and I ...

Trying to reach and disciple your own immediate family can be one of the hardest things. The number of relational obstacles, woundedness, and confusion caused by unintentional hurt and sin can drive a deep divide in familial relationships. When ...

Intentional relationships are relationships “done on purpose” or “deliberate” according to the dictionary. Intentional relationships are actively engaged and do not happen casually or by happenstance. Intentional relationships are more than ...

Becky and her husband had been looking for a church home. They stopped going to church during Covid and their combined anxiety and her history of addiction made them leery of being judged by church people. They knew Jesus and knew they needed ...

I have heard it said that ministry can be one of the loneliest occupations there is. Given my own personal ministry experience I’d have to say that I agree, it surely can be, but it doesn’t have to be. Jesus commands us to love God and love ...

We have a man in our church that is a chef…like 5-Star chef! He happened to be in my Life Group a few years ago and for our Christmas party he volunteered to cook a meal for our entire Life Group, kids included. The amount of food and the ...

So often when I am talking with Christians about intentional disciple-making they begin to list fears, concerns or describe their own inadequacy. I hear things like, “I don’t want to screw it up” or “I cannot disciple anyone because I do not ...

In order to create a disciple making culture, it is of supreme importance to identify, equip, and release disciple-making leaders. Each milestone in that disciple-making triad is built on the other. You cannot release a disciple that you have ...

There’s a song that has recently ingratiated itself as a mainstay in worship services. Perhaps you have sang along with the bridge, a driving, repetitious hook that conjures up a humbling image of God’s overwhelming, never-ending love. It ...

Matthew 22:37-40 ESV [37] And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. [38] This is the great and first commandment. [39] And a second is like it: You shall love your ...

“Thank you for leading this group and for discipling me,” Shea said as we stood next to our trucks in the coffee shop parking lot following our Tuesday morning men’s small group. “I want to become a better leader. How did you learn to become a ...

I love team! A team is commonly defined as a group of people who come together to achieve a common goal. I am privileged to work alongside a group of likeminded people who are shooting at the same target. It has been written in a lot of books ...

It had been four years. Four years since I moved into our new neighborhood. I looked at my street and cul-de-sac where I lived as a great opportunity to love people and lead them to Jesus. I was excited for the opportunity in this new community ...

A minister once told me that he wanted the church he led to reach “Joe Sixpack.” “Who is Joe Sixpack?” I responded. I knew who he meant. I wanted to know if he knew who he meant. (He didn’t.) “Joe Sixpack” is the target for many men’s ...

Before I flew out to a snowy Post Falls in February of 2013, I’m not quite sure I could have pointed out Idaho on a map. I grew up in the southeast and attended First Baptist Church of whatever town my family called home. From Tennessee to ...

The family is the first institution ordained by God in Scripture. Before God ordained government, even before He ordained the Church, God ordained the family (Gen 2:24). Perhaps one of the greatest tragedies would be deceiving ourselves into ...

“Let’s get our coffee and grab some comfy couches,” I said to Katy as she joined me.  We got our favorite warm drinks and found a place to talk.  We resumed the latest topic in our on- going conversation.  A few weeks ago, we had toured one of ...

You could hear a pin drop as a somber spirit fell on the men in the group. With much transparency, I had just shared about my ten-year battle with an addiction to pornography. I talked about the problems that addiction had created in my life and in my marriage...

Go to the Relational Discipleship Wheel*…right? Yes, but…it’s much more than just intentionally following a “process” or “stage” of spiritual growth. Visually seeing the steps people need to take is helpful. It gives great direction and insight ...

If you have followed any of my other writings, blogs or even read some of my books you might be aware of the tragedy our family went through in 2016 when my girls were in a car accident. During those long days while my youngest daughter was in ...

The alarm goes off blasting that nauseating sound that is now ringing in my ears. My left eye creeps open and looks at 5:00 a.m. now glaring back at me. It's time to get ready for my shift. I get out of bed and stagger to the shower. Shower ...

Sports are a big deal. My entire life, sports have been woven throughout my journey. Whether playing little league, varsity football or throwing shot put in college, I have always been involved in sports. I married a wonderful woman who is just ...

Is it just me or does anyone else find it easier to see the power of God changing other people’s lives than it is to see Him transforming your own life? Why is it easier for me to encourage those I’m discipling and acknowledge the fruit I see ...

My calendar says it’s January, but the weather has been steamy and tropical here in Houston since last spring. Local forecasters claim that temps are going to drop dramatically next week. Most Texans don’t own traditional winter gear because we ...

There are many articles on the subject of forgiveness. The focus of this article is specifically how God is faithful to use forgiveness in the disciple maker.   Nathan is one of my closest friends and someone I had the privilege of ...

I received a call from a couple seeking some spiritual guidance about the potential of an upcoming marriage. As we talked, I sensed there was a misunderstanding of what the Gospel meant to them, and the sacrifice Jesus made for our salvation. ...

Healthy Branching - Why and How Branching a Group Can Be Celebrated in the Church He rubbed the end of his chin as if contemplating what to say next. I had just given Travis and Jesse the challenge of taking the branch from our small group and ...

We live in a culture that pushes us to strive, achieve, accomplish, and earn. The metrics of success are geared towards production and, to be fair, geared towards a good portion of our makeup. We want to produce. We want to achieve. We want to ...

Its 4:35 in the morning, and I’m awakened by the sound of my 100-pound German Shepherd barking and growling like he is in a fight for his life. The fear of our house getting broken into rushes through my mind, and I immediately jump out of bed, ...

Sharing your story is a powerful way to connect to others. In re:generation, which is our recovery ministry, when we introduce ourselves, we tell people about our current struggles. We also include our stories of healing and restoration from ...

I was tired of hauling my Chevy Blazer into the shop for repairs! When I tried unsuccessfully to start my SUV, I chose to take matters into my own hands. It was time to buckle up my man pants and repair this vehicle on my own! Having no clue ...

As I listened to my friend and longtime partner at our church share about the struggles and brokenness he was experiencing in multiple areas of his life; in his marriage, with his kids, at work, and in his thought life, I realized that what my ...

Hidden, remain, abide, and press into are all concepts used to describe this idea of a relationship with Christ. Have you ever been reading the Bible and felt like you are in a foreign country trying to understand street signs? The idea of “in ...

One of my favorite moments each week is my time around the table with the staff at our church. The first thing on our agenda is “Celebrations.” During that time, each of us can share personal celebrations as well as the those in our areas of ...

Do you know that your Bible houses a discipleship manual on how to live a lifestyle of worship? The book of Psalms contains a collection of poems, often set to music, that will help us cultivate a lifestyle of worship.   The Psalms uncover ...

When I became a full-time pastor I decided to maintain one part of my old career – plowing snow for local businesses. As winter approaches each year I look at and listen to my local snowfall forecasts. I think about my snow removal accounts, ...

I walked through the door staring at him and there he was expressionless. The suspect sat in the chair with his hands folded, the light shimmered off the stainless-steel handcuffs. I wanted answers, but for both of us the scenario was not our ...

Sitting in my car, in the driveway of a vacant house I yelled, “I’M DONE!” [primal yell] I’ll never forget the day I broke into that house with the most intentional decision I would ever make, to not come out of that house alive. But, God had a ...

My wife, Sandi, and I have two incredible daughters, Sydney and Stephanie (yes, all our names start with "S," sorry, I'm that guy!). Our girls are both grown, married, and leading fruitful lives as followers of Jesus, His disciples. Hands down, ...

How can one person have hundreds of “best friends”? I have had and do have individuals in my life that impact people powerfully. When you hear others speak of those individuals, they use language that would seem they are best friends. These ...

I recall the pressure I felt sitting in my office, staring at the screen of my computer, hunting for a new program or fresh idea that would give our church a new spark of enthusiasm required for our next season of ministry. Much like an addict ...

As church leaders, we are always on the lookout for that next high-octane, multi-gifted, high-capacity leader we can just “plug-and-play” right into the ministries of our church. Right? Am I right? Anybody? Sheeeesh. Just rereading that first ...

Tick…Tick…Tick…I sat in the hospital watching the clock. Just hours before that I was standing in front of a trauma doctor while he explained to Amber and I the seriousness of the car accident. Olivia was given almost a zero percent chance to ...

The Life of a Disciple-Maker: Making Sacrifices to Invest in Others While on a business trip overseas my Mom once had a desire to purchase a dress from the country my parents were visiting. After not being able to find anything she liked, on ...

Let’s talk about food. Because who doesn’t love food?! Good food is one of God’s greatest gifts for us to enjoy… Am I right? 😉 Take a moment and think about the most satisfying meal you’ve ever had. Where were you, who were you with, what was ...

As a resident of Mobile, Alabama I rarely pay attention to weather forecasts. I’m no Meteorologist, but it’s always a safe bet that each day will be hot, humid with a chance of thunderstorms. So, I admit that I was not prepared when our area ...

Sometimes to make the shift we have to let people leave. Holding onto people that do not want to go with you can cause problems. How to let people go well... My eyes scanned through my inbox; one name immediately jumped out causing my heart to ...

When I was a kid, my parents didn’t allow me to watch “R” rated movies. That is, until they decided I would benefit from the story and history captured in Mel Gibson’s The Patriot. The film is set during the revolutionary war. At the end of the ...

The timeless question pastors, parents, spouses and employers have asked throughout history is... “How many times must I repeat my message before people remember it?” This age old question has been answered in a variety of ways over time. I ...

One day as I picked my 12 year old daughter up from school, she shared with me something that changed the way I picked her up from that day forward. She told me, “Mom, I love it when Grandpa or Dad pick me up from school.” She didn’t say that ...

I got a call from a very disgruntled church member, with a long list of grievances towards the church. It saddened me as she shared her hurt, it was a reminder that hurt people hurt people.  After I met with her in person, I learned about a ...

Celebration is part of who we are.  We are wired with a need for celebration.  It is in us. We all celebrate something: your favorite team wins a big game, a loved one’s birthday, a new job, getting out of debt.  Whatever it is, the common ...

Three years ago, my wife and I found ourselves at a crossroads in ministry. We knew the church culture and mindset we found ourselves in was not producing disciples of Jesus. Or at least not the type of disciples that Jesus envisioned. And ...

I don’t know a lot about cars, but I know enough that when my car starts to drift to one side or even pull in a certain direction, I have a problem. So, I decided to take it to a mechanic, and he was happy to confirm, (with money signs in his ...

Quick question, have you ever seen something and thought, “Man, whoever designed that is brilliant!” A bicycle bell, a lock, a spray bottle? I mean, check out this picture! Why didn’t I think of that?! Brilliant! Isn’t it interesting that we ...

I’m a fan of the University of Tennessee Volunteers. Being a fan of the Vols football program has not been easy in the past 15 years. My sons were born into a world where Tennessee football is irrelevant on the national stage (or any stage for ...

I looked over into the opposing team huddle and I saw the all-star running back shove his teammate to the ground. This resulted in an eruption of hollering and fighting amongst teammates. Even though this event was 30 years ago I remember it ...

“Your imagination can play tricks on you.” “Your imagination is running a wild.”   These are just a couple of statements that I have heard along the way while I was growing up. These statements and many others try to explain how the ...

I am a product of the philosophy of “creating places to play.” I remember the first Monday after I had attended RLM in Post Falls, Idaho. I received a phone call from Jim Putman, the Senior Pastor. I was sitting on my couch watching Monday ...

CultureShiftIn today's complex and ever-changing culture, trust and transparency are getting increasingly difficult to establish. I’ve been on staff at Real Life Ministries for 20 years and my current role is Training and Development Team Lead, ...

Being in relationship with others, leads to pain and disharmony at times. We long for unity because our Creator put the desire for it in our hearts. All throughout scripture we see disunity followed by conflict when sin entered the world. But ...

Raising The Apprentice Matthew 28:18-20 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of ...

I sat around the table at a staff meeting struggling to find the right words to say as I navigated updating our team about a challenging situation with one of our members. Ministry is hard work, but it is holy work. Ministry is not simple and ...

I recently read an article online by Thom Rainer on “Why Churches are Less Evangelistic Than Years Ago.” You can find the full article here. He conducted a poll in 2015 asking for the top reasons churches do not see evangelism happening in ...

I grew up playing basketball. I ate, drank, slept, and breathed the game of basketball. It was a passion and almost an obsession for me as I went through middle school and high school with a goal of playing college basketball. That was a big ...

Most shifts in our lives create stress, opposition or hiccups along the way. Shifting our ministries into a disciple making culture is no different and won’t happen without some measure of adversity. If a church has been operational for more ...

“It’s not what we do but who we are”. This phrase has become a common cry by many of us in the Relational Discipleship Network. Wow! The last 14 months challenged this statement in my life. In the midst of the COVID crisis, political tension ...

What does it mean to be truly authentic, build authentic relationships, and have a genuine relationship with God? Living an authentic life—striving to align one’s actions with one’s core values and beliefs, with the hope of discovering and then ...